Archive for the ‘humor’ Category.

Talk Like a Pirate Consultant

September 19 is Talk Like a Pirate Day. It must be ever more popular, because one Talk Like a Pirate Day web site and its text translator died from overload. Meanwhile another Pirate Speak Translator offers text like:

I’ve been helpin’ t’ orrrganize a rrregional securrrity conferrrence, th’ second annual Rochesterrr Securrrity Summit, schedul’d ferrr Octoberrr 3 and 4, and a bottle of rum! Good prrresenterrrs, both business and technical trrracks! Some seats be still open, rrregisterrr now!
Gar, where can I find a bottle o’rum?

Math joke

“A great math joke from Joi Ito,” via Ole Eichhorn:

April 1

The funniest spoof I read today was Avi Rubin’s new job as Diebold’s Chief Security Officer.

Also quite entertaining was the announcement of
XCP, the XML-based drop-in replacement for TCP.

Tribal Wisdom: when you discover you’re riding a dead horse

Primate Programming Inc: The Evolution of Java and .NET Training

Primate Programming Inc: The Evolution of Java and .NET Training

Can Primate Programmers work at my location?

We do not recommend it unless you provide a separate work area. Primate Programmers need to be nearby the offices of IT managers to get questions answered, be managed, etc. However, since primates and great ape hominids have environmental needs that differ from that of humans, we recommend waiting until you have have experience with Primate Programming via offsite outsourcing. Thereafter, you can set up a leafy, comfortable workspace for your Primate Programmers at your site. We offer consulting in how to do this. Issues include menu planning, personal primate hygiene, air quality, daily primate exercise, and noise management.

Do you offer Primate Programming training, for my own Primate Programmers?

Yes. Please see our page on services. We do require that you engage us for at least 30,000 hours of billable time before we provide primate programming training services to your company. You must also sign a non-compete agreement, meaning your primate staff is for the use of your firm only. Our core curriculum includes training in teamwork, Human Great Ape (HGA) sensitivity training, and organizational skills training. Our technical curriculum includes Java training, .NET training including ASP.NET training, and some JSP training. The entire staff receives ongoing tech training in XML, ADO and other technologies that change often.

Primate Programming Inc: The Evolution of Java and .NET Training

Matrix Reloaded Flash Mob in Osaka

Rotten Tomatoes: Matrix Reloaded in Japan